Some Pagans, such as myself, practice what I call the Craft. Yes, I Craft and I craft. Hardy, har, har. In all reality, the capitalization at the beginning of the word sets the two apart tremendously. Craft, with a little c, is simply the hobby and handy work of creating things with materials. Craft, with a big c, is the work of religious belief and a manner of praying to whatever pathenon you choose to worship.

Before I go further into things here, I would like to comment that the Craft, also known as Witchcraft, is not a “black art” nor a form of “Devilry.” The idea of it being the adverse of prayer was something that wasn’t started until Christianity became a large force in Europe. Christianity for years had been persecuted by the Romans andGreeks. In it’s hayday, Christians would acutally work side-by-side with Druids in a way to upsurp the Greeks and fidn hidden ways to practice their religion. when Chriatians came into power, they did as any segregated group would. They lashed out and tried to make sure that what happened to them once wouldn’t happen again. Sure enough, in doing so they did what had been done to them to others. In their force to make sure they were never kept form praciticing thei religion, Christians of the tiem began pegging any heathen practices as work of the “Devil” since it couldn’t have been God’s work since he would never let the Greek pagans treat them as they had. Hopefully you can see how this form of prayer known as Witchcraft was simply pegged as “Devilry” out of spite.

Now that I’ve deviated from my original course of discussion, let me back track a bit. There are Pagans that practice teh Craft and then there are those that do not. I practice the Craft. I will admit that I do not practice as much as I should, but I’m getting there.

One of the key forms that I, and many other Witches, practice is candle magic, which is simply the use of candles in magical workings. Some feel that there are specific guidelines that must be followed during candle magic. Once again, I state that these guidelines are just that: guidelines. They are not rules, they are not laws. Different colors can be used for different meanings and may vary in that meaning from person to person, culture to culture. (In the near future I hope to start correspondence pages that will help give ideas to those looking for such.)

With all that has been happening in my life recently (leaving a job to take up subbing, going back to school, dealing with the reprecussions of being more vocal of my beliefs), I have needed to fall back on the Craft more than ever. The other night I was moved to do a simple courage spell. I called the Lord and Lady to me and proceeded to inscribe the word “courage” on a red candle. Asking for their help, I left the candle burning as I worked in the bedroom cleaning and organizing. The next two days I lit the candle any time I was in the room for more than a few minutes.

The third day, I lit the candle and it went out after only a couple minutes. I tried to light it again, thinking it was a gust of wind that just happened to blow out only the “courage” candle and not the ones calling the Lord and Lady. The candle would not light. In my asking I had asked for the extra courage as long as it was needed. There are many ways to take the blowing out and un-relighting of the “courage” candle. In that moment, and even now, I read it to mean that the courage I asked for is here, I simply need to use it.

A quick word on whom this Karl Menninger fellow is. For those of you who are not into the realm of psychiatry and psychology at all, he was an American psychiatrist whom practiced from 1919, when he opened the Menninger Clinic with his father, up until his death in 1990. He was one of the few psychiatrists who held firm to his belief that some mental illnesses were caused by religious influences, or lack of religion for stability. Given what we see in society, the degradation of humanity and the lack of respect for fellow man, in tandem with the falling numbers for religions and people who hold any faith world-wide, but specifically here in America, topped off with more “mental illnesses” being noticed, I can’t help but wonder if he may have been on the right track.

While I would love to say that I have become more apt to study my religion int he past month, I can not. Life has gotten in the way. I know that’s not an excuse, but that’s the bone of the matter. On that same note, I have allowed myself to become more open with the ideas of what I believe in. Take, for example, birth control. I do believe that a couple should do everything in their power not to have children unless they are financially, emotionally, relationship-ly, and religiously ready. However, despite being on an oral contraceptive for the past six years, I do not agree with the use of man-made drugs in order to stop such an event. These hormones change you chemical, mental, and physical make-up to the point that you are not necessarily who you are intended to be.

I have been on nine different pills, all with severe side-effects. Sometimes these side effects were simply harsh cramps during my menstrual cycle, but other times they were severe, manic almost, mood swings that left me feeling hopeless, irritable, and sometimes suicidal. My aggression issues were almost impossible to control taking these pills. Not to mention one of the biggest gripes of all, I had almost no third eye.

Now that I’m off the pill, it seems all those negative side-effects have dissipated. Joe has even made comment to the fact that I’m much calmer despite all the financial and personal issues we currently have going on. I have even been able to “talk” with my guides again and have a stronger sense of when someone else is around on a different plane.

The real reason as to why I’m writing in this blog about this rather personal issue is that, as woman, I think we are under the assumption that we have no choice but to pump ourselves full of man-made chemicals in order to control what happens to us and when. My current outlook on this: hogwash. There are other ways to try and prevent your life from going down a path you don’t want it to (condoms, fertility charting, abstinence, spermicide) that don’t mess with your chemical make-up and who you are. If, given you are being careful and taking at least one precaution according to the way it’s supposed to be used, you end up with a child, then it may just be that the Divine has intervened. Am I saying not to use protection? Gods no! Am I saying I would have done things differently these past six years, maybe. What it comes down to for me, is that I’m surprised that we, as a nation of females with freedom, have decided to buy into a thought process and a pill process simply because it’s easy, allows us not to think, and allows us to avoid the possible consequences of our actions.

I’m sitting here at the end of the school day in my room. And I can hear a student sobbing in the hallway. He’s a special education kiddo. Who knows what his background is or what his homelife is like. He’s a new student that I have yet to know. I can’t help but think, after knowing what I do know of some students, that he is in trouble with the special education teacher; a teacher that is well known for waiting until the last possible minute before getting a student in trouble. Why is this boy crying? All I can think of is that it’s a nationalized test week. The teachers are burnt out, the students are burnt out. The student misbehaves, and eventually gets in trouble.

At home, who knows what “getting in trouble at school.” will look like. For some, it’s an afternoon inside without video games. For others it might even be a night without dessert. But for some many it means a whoping, a wipping, or maybe even a plain-out beat down. Theses are the kids that I constantly worry will never be able to learn much from the discipline a school tries to give. A detention is no longer a detention for these few; no longer an hour diverted from outdoor play, but a full evening the night before, the night of, and maybe the night after where they are beaten and berated by those that are supposed to care for them. Unfortunately, due to the current turmoil of the economy, it seems that this is becoming more and more common.

I ask everyone that reads this blog to join in a collective prayer for these students. They need our love more than we could possibly imagine.

For those of you that don’t know, I’m leaving the security of my current job behind. I have been working in an area of education that not only do I feel uncomfortable in, but that is prohibiting me from being able to focus on the area that I am certified in, English Language Arts. On top of that, the school I am at seems more than willing to keep me where I’m at instead of moving me to a position in which I would be highly qualified.

On October 30, the day before Samhain, ironically, I will officially be done at my job. I will be going into substituting and being a full time graduate student. I’m hoping to be able to find a full time teaching position for next fall. This seems to be the best decision I have made in a long time. I have lost the depression that I was deeply drowned in and have begun to see a light at the end of the tunnel. A light that I haven’t seen in a very long time.

On top of this potentially life changing event is the other, more important one: Joe and I have finally tied the knot. :-) We were married on October 3rd in a very small, beautiful ceremony. I’m hoping to have pitures up sometime in the near future both on here and the family blog.

This is something I’ve been missing a lot of as of late. Using my mind to help control the matter. I’ve been having a really hard time this past summer staying focused when it comes to pretty much anything. Since starting TaeKwonDo, it has gotten better, but it’s still not perfect. In Paganism, like any other religion, it’s important to have a firm mental grasp on what you are doing. If you’re working on spell work only to be thinking about the next episode of a show coming on tonight, you’re obviously not focused enough. Is your spell going to have the same effect as if you were focused? Not so much.

Mind over matter.

I love how this concept of reflecting to see whether or not we are focused is writtin, and I really agree with it.

“However it is important for we witches not to take ourselves too seriously.  Life on this Earth Plain is not reality.  It is more like a cosmic game of badminton. While on court it is easy to forget that our real life lies beyond. The game is not reality; it’s just a game. Our lives on earth are like that game. When the game is over we retire to the astral coach’s office for a thorough debriefing. We learn from our experiences and can apply the lessons in our other lives; other games of badminton.”

Those three names that I just listed share one thing in common: they are a holiday in Paganism. Actually, they are the same holiday, but with different names. While trying to attune my life to Nature and the Courses she chooses me to take, I can’t help but think that this is a holiday that I have missed every year since I first started calling myself Pagan.

Lammas, as I tend to call it, normally falls on either July 31 or August 1. Traditionally on August 1, Lammas (loaf-mass day) is the first of three harvest festivals in Paganism; the other two being Mabon and Samhain. Since Lammas is traditioanlly the first wheat harvest of the year, it was customary in England to bring a loaf of bread into the church with you. A farmer was also bound to deliver the first cuts of wheat to the landlord on this day as well.

I’m hoping that this year I will have time to make a loaf of wheat bread by hand in honor of the holiday, and possibly make some sort of holiday hanging out of cut wheat to have out during the 3 days before and after, but we’ll see if I come up with any ideas on that.

In all reality, I’m really excited that I noticed Lammas was coming up since it looks like we might at leas get some mild harvest out of the potatoes and peas. Not much else will be ready unfortunately. But, apparently patience is a Course that Nature wants me to understand fully this Moon Cycle.

Goodness! Speaking of bread, I just realized I might want to get working on that loaf I need to do today. It will be interesting, seeing how I’m thinking I might try not using the full cycle on the machine and bake it off in the oven. Joe seems to gripe a bit when it’s not “bread shaped.”

Just a note to let you all know that there’s a new post up at the family blog: http://multifariousraymonds.wordpress.com/.

Perchance, now that we have a family blog in the works, I should use this to delve more into religions and finding myself again? I know that there are those, including family members, that may read this and be shocked, confused, worried, annoying, upset, frustrated…what have you by my religious choice, but I see no reason not to be open here about who I am and what I believe in. After all, if you are one who loves me and reads this, would you love me any less if you knew me any more? If so, than there may be a problem between us anyhow.

While I do not consider myself Wiccan, only a Kitchen Witch, I have found the most curious site: http://www.wiccacourse.co.uk/intro.htm. Said site is an interesting free course that is to help teach the basic premise of Wicca. Since all Pagan religions follow along the same life lines, I have decided to work through all the  monographs, or sections, of this course and post what I find interesting/thought provoking here.

I think part of what really caught my attention was the quote that starts off the entire series of pages:

“To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen
to what the world tells you, you ought to prefer, is to have
kept your soul alive.” — Robert Louis Stevenson.

The reason this strikes me so vividly is that Robert Louis Stevenson is one of my favorite all-time authors. (Many of you will only remember that he wrote Treasure Island.) Needless to say, I feel as though this might be one of those signs that one just can’t ignore.

Before I continue onward, I feel that there may be some myths that I should dispell about Paganism. While I can’t stand doing this over and over again, there seems to be a good deal of people out there that still have no intellectual ability of their own to over-come the common non-truths about Paganism.

MISCONCEPTION #1: PAGANISM IS SATANIC.

For one, Satan is purely a Christian belief. In order for one to even believe in Satan you must believe in Christian ideas. Even “Satanists” don’t really worship Satan, but that’s an entirely different topic.

MISCONCEPTION #2: THE PENTECAL AND PENTAGRAM ARE SATANIC SYMBOLS

The meaning behind the pentagram (this five pointed star) encompases the five pieces of life: earth, fire, wind, air, and spirit. When encompassed in a circle, forming a pentacal, this signifies the five creating the whole. The entire concept of the pentagram and pentacle being “evil” didn’t originate until a mass murdered used the inverted form as his signature and then Hollywood perpetuated it. In reality, the pentagram and pentacle in the normally position (5th point up) means that you are ruled by the spirit and one with the Divine. Inverted, the symbols mean that there is too much going on in your physical realm to put emphasis on the Divine and you are renewing your vows from the bottom up.

Hilariously, these are the only two big things I can think of. I think that mainly has to deal with the idea that other “misconceptions” are not such, they are just people being too lazy to be open minded about things. I will say that I am more than open to answering people’s questions about Paganism as I go along with this. Hopefully this little adventure won’t only help myself, but others as well.

Motivation is something that I am severely lacking as of right now. I have no motivation to do anything. I could be a regular American moron and blame it on the weather, but I know that’s not it. I guess I’m just not seeing where the point lies in striving to reach a potential I don’t know exists. The only thing that has speared me on all day is the idea of going to TaeKwonDo tonight. While I guess that’s something, it seems really odd that I don’t even want to spend time with my kiddos. Ideally,  I want to just hide away and never come out.

My greatgrandmother passed away. I should be sad, but I’m not. I think I’ll talk to mom later and see if she feels it’s important for me to go to teh wake and all that stuff. I have no idea how dad feels about it, but I’m so tired of living to other people’s beliefs to appease them. Personally, I never knew the lady and have no want to go to any of the ridiculous ceremonies that encompany the loss of someone’s physical being. With Grammy Vaughn it’s different. She was mom’s mom. She was my grandmother. I knew her.

I’m also tired of some people saying “well if you lived closer” or “if we had lived closer to them” when it comes to me not knowing family members. That’s such bull. There are just those family members that I don’t know because they are vastly different from me and thus I have no reason to want to know them. If you’re going to use words like “nigger” and “Jap” around me, than I want nothing to do with you. If you are going to sit there and talk to me about skinning and killing innocent animals for the hell of it, I hope such a thing happens to you in some life. If you’re going to make fun of me and tease me because I believe in being culturally aware and sensitive, then screw off. I want nothing to do with you.

Maybe this is why I have no focus. I have too much hostility in me for such meditative things. I hope I can burn it all off tonight.Bah.

So yesterday’s idea of working through a schedule hit a bit of a snag in the afternoon. I came down with a wicked headache that I had to nurse so that I could make it to TaeKwonDo. There’s no way I’m going to miss my classes! Speaking of which, next week is a stripe session, which makes me very nervous. I’m hoping I can hit the first six moves as the would give me my first stripe. But, I’m going to try to not get my hopes up. I will focus on the goal, yes, but not get upset if I don’t reach it.

8:45 — Take shower, dress, get ready for day, etc.

9:15 — Take Belle for walk.

9:30 — Let Jacks out while knitting.

10:00 — Work on applications for school districts/articles

12:00 — Lunch time.

12:30 — Walk to P.O.

1:00 — Clean, cut, and freeze strawberries.

2:00 — Coffee/tea/knitting break

2:30 — Fold laundry and get next load going.

3:00 — Dishes, dishes, and more dishes!

4:00 — Knitting break

4:15 — Work on picking up kitchen. Get rid of all the piles, make sure things are put where they belong.

5:30 — Decide on dinner/make in time for Joe to get home.

6:30 — Take Belle for walk.

6:45 — Dishes.

7:15 — Let Jacks out.

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