“What is success? It is a toy balloon among children armed with pins.” ~Gene Fowler
January 10, 2009
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Yesterday was one of the most aweful, yet eye opening days of my life. Here is the e-mail I sent to Joe. It sums it all up wonderfully I feel.
“I’m drowning. I can feel it. I have a cold spot in the base of my skull, which always means one thing and one thing only: I’m slowly going under. Everything’s getting too much. I have to take two courses to recertify my teaching certificate. Two courses that the school won’t pay for upfront. You have to be a teacher to have that. I’m failing. I’m failing me, I’m failing my career field. The undertow has me and I can’t break free. I was never that great of a swimmer to begin with. This just compounds that idea. Is there really anything that I can do that will make this easier? That will make this better? I keep wanting to e-mail around some about going for my Masters in New Media, but I can’t pull myself to do it. I feel like I’m running out of oxygen. I need air so I can settle before the lactose in my muscles gets so strong that my stomach is on the exterior of my body. I need to be able to see a finish line, but while hurling in the lane, my eyes are too blury to see the final hundred meters. I need someone to lean on, to help me move in that direction. I don’t like crying over my own self destruction, but it’s becoming too much to deal with. I want to teach, but how can I teach if I’m so inept that I’m not even a student? I’m drowning. ”
However, I did finally start peeking around at grad school and the what not. Here’s the e-mail I sent to one of Joe’s previous professors who knows and loves the dear boy.
I don’t know if you would remember meeting me or not (I think we only met once or twice), but this is Joseph Raymond’s wife (minus the legal documents). I’ve been thinking about returning to college for a Masters. I currently hold a Bachelor’s in Secondary Education with a concentration in English.
Through lengthy meditation, I feel I finally have an idea of what way I would like to go with my next degree. I was wondering if there is any form of New Media Master’s following the narrative sequence? Joe said that you would be the best person to contact to see if there was anything like this or any possibility of creating something along these lines. He also suggested that you would be the best choice to seek out as a “mentor” for trying to create such a degree.
My main fear right now is that I’m trying to obtain all of this information too late in the game to be able to apply for any form of graduate school this fall. Knowing that you’re on sabbatical this semester (according to Joe), I might have backed myself into a corner waiting until now to e-mail you. I’m hoping that through some divine fate you still check your UMaine e-mail on a regular basis.
Thanks in advance for any help that you may be able to give me. It will be greatly appreciated, no matter what the quantity.”
It will be interesting to see if anything comes of this…