“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” ~Kenji Miyazawa
Both of my grandparents on my mother’s side have passed away. Yes, their passing hurt me, but it was expected for so long that the pain was a numbing one. When my uncle passed away, however, it was a searing pain due to the unexpectedness of it all. Once again, that pain has hit.
When your family has a home business for so long, you learn to think of certain workers of theirs as serrogant aunts and uncles. Well, I lost one of these uncles recently. I found out from Mom Sunday that Mark Fowler, someone I have known since I was about seven or so, took his life Thursday night in the same fashion as my blood uncle did back when I was a senior in high school. It’s just now setting into place the meaning of her words. Suicide is such an ugly thing, but it’s the person’s choice and one can not be angry at them for exercising said choice.
I have asked for next Monday off. It’s the soonest that I will have time to grieve. In the meanwhile, it is all locked away for later. This is how I deal with things. I pack it up like a fragile piece of decor and wait until just the right time. My students need me at my best for the rest of the week. That’s what I will give them, regardless as to whether or not it is socially acceptable.
I’ll miss you bunches, Mark.